tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43736275585755813022024-03-05T23:35:14.110-08:00Warped RealityLife is messed up. Deal with it.Varun Rameshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03048156664263639430noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-27313286928738313902011-11-11T10:17:00.000-08:002011-11-11T10:20:10.880-08:00Ultimate Wish!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZcjP9GPrHR7XRLUnFjp0usgke1KwjukKk-KJn0F6Hfzut41ypebvQkgAIgZ70A6Vo8B8YRLttROj7x8Xqff5nX4WqXpghLP-CCJrxRSRuzXqZftAes_GoaEvlW_uX5dRk55BHsoZFGfg/s1600/11-11+time.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZcjP9GPrHR7XRLUnFjp0usgke1KwjukKk-KJn0F6Hfzut41ypebvQkgAIgZ70A6Vo8B8YRLttROj7x8Xqff5nX4WqXpghLP-CCJrxRSRuzXqZftAes_GoaEvlW_uX5dRk55BHsoZFGfg/s320/11-11+time.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://emergent-culture.com/the-1111-enigma-demystified-and-clarified-by-the-science-of-synchronicity-earth-changes-jung-tzolkin-mayan-calendar-eleven-eleven-2012/">http://emergent-culture.com/the-1111-enigma-demystified-and-clarified-by-the-science-of-synchronicity-earth-changes-jung-tzolkin-mayan-calendar-eleven-eleven-2012/</a></td></tr>
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This year, on 11, November, 2011, billions of people will be able to wish the most epic and greatest wish in the history of mankind! This wish has only been trumped once by that of the November of 1111. It has been conjectured that at 11:11 on this day, the amount of energy that is released from all of the wishes will reverse the poles on the Earth's axis. Although communication, satellite GPS, radio communication, and your favorite episode of Jersey Shore may experience some turbulence, the change will not be permanent. <br />
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It is estimated that the reversal will last no longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage, so there is no need for alarm. Further reports of collateral damage will be accumulated as we experience this disaster that people seemingly worship and idolize. Warped Reality Headquarters is on it! In the mean time, lock yo doors, shut yo windows, and hid yo kids, 'cause it gettin' crazy tonight!<br />
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Stay tuned for more reports. And for those sorry people who missed it, we recommend finding another reason to live...</div>Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-77225227073561322342011-09-02T22:02:00.003-07:002023-01-24T12:28:19.231-08:00Nation's Liberal Sheepishly Admit Crush on Comedian Jon Stewart<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://images.zap2it.com/images/celeb-71335/jon-stewart-1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://images.zap2it.com/images/celeb-71335/jon-stewart-1.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
Sources reported yesterday that the Nation's Liberals finally admitted a long term crush on comedian Jon Stewart, the host of The Daily Show on Comedy Central. After being pressed on by their peers, the liberals were goaded into admitting the crush - a startling revelation that will no doubt be spread among the populace. Witnesses explained to us that awkward attempted justification followed, citing Jon Stewart's bashing of conservatives as attractive. Laughter soon ensued.<br />
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Varun Rameshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03048156664263639430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-27956960470226338222011-07-16T12:39:00.001-07:002023-01-24T12:28:54.546-08:00Health and Medicine Update: Regenerative Medicine<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs_9E7byxSQQ8ZboN5mlMIzlmzixqKsiQn_88uVeqK0OfU_yWay-I_iWBrYv8DXUt8jGCZTk4IGZbJXiCNJH_9PiT0VaMNnGyjH3SZLJJ-gRbL_qjjm0ikGT8dd10pON-BROLt5SoLBgg/s1600/Kidney+bean+regenerative+medicine.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" m="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs_9E7byxSQQ8ZboN5mlMIzlmzixqKsiQn_88uVeqK0OfU_yWay-I_iWBrYv8DXUt8jGCZTk4IGZbJXiCNJH_9PiT0VaMNnGyjH3SZLJJ-gRbL_qjjm0ikGT8dd10pON-BROLt5SoLBgg/s320/Kidney+bean+regenerative+medicine.jpg" true="" width="289" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture from: <a href="http://www.cs.utah.edu/~draperg/cartoons/special.2.94.html">http://www.cs.utah.edu/~draperg/cartoons/special.2.94.html</a></td></tr>
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The newest technology has now made the impossible, possible. Lung cancer?? No problem, grow a new lung! Brain injury?? Don't sweat it, just make yourself a new one! I'm talking about the wonders of regenerative medicine! As you all may have heard, a young man in China sold his kidney in order to purchase a new iPad 2. We are all sorry for him, as he could have almost been stuck with an iPad! But more so because of all the possible health risks that came with removing a kidney. Thanks to regenerative medicine, he may now be able to grow his own kidney beans in his backyard (see what I did there??).<br />
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But where did the inspiration for this medicine come from? Warped Reality Headquarters sent representatives behind the scenes to talk with the leading scientist behind this innovative new technology, Dr. Frankenstein - expert in dismembered organs and limbs and other vestigial structures. Our interview with Dr. Frankenstein goes as such:<br />
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<strong>Question 1:</strong> What got you thinking about regenerative medicine??<br />
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<strong>Dr. Frankenstein:</strong> Well.... I was visiting the local theater, as I am a very high connoisseur of the fine arts, and they happened to be performing "The Wizard of Oz." I was brought to tears at the sight of the poor lion without courage, the pitiful scarecrow without a brain, and the sorrowful sight that was the tin man who lacked a heart. I vowed from then on that nary a lion, scarecrow, or tin man should live without a vital organ! <br />
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<strong>Question 2:</strong> So how exactly did you begin your experimentation into regenerative medicine??<br />
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<strong>Dr. Frankenstein:</strong> Firstly, it was a dark and stormy night, lightning streamed across the black sky accompanied with thunder. I had been scavenging a local joint known to have dismembered organs and body parts known as the "black market." I gathered the parts necessary, and began to piece them together to understand how they worked and functioned on a living person. Unfortunately, I had no way of bringing the organs to life. But then, lightening struck the body and it came to life! But it was ugly so I sent it away like all my other rejects.<br />
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Out interview was stopped short when Dr. Frankenstein suffered from a heart attack.<br />
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This latest development in medicine now allows for progress to be made in the replacement of damaged or lost organs. Now these organs can be grown in your own backyard! The World Health Organization will be releasing the seeds for public consumption on February 29, 2011, and these can be found at your local home improvement store in the gardening section. <br />
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However, amidst the plentiful health benefits and progress in international medicine and science, there has been many a concern for this newly introduced medicine. We interviewed one such "victim" of this new technology, and he had this to say: "My men and I have worked tirelessly in the black market in the distribution and sale of *ahem* 'donated' organs, and we have to say that this medicine will seriously impact our business. We can't have our customers growing their own organs in their vegetable gardens because then we would lose a huge part of our sales sector. Profit will drop significantly. My wife and kids would starve!"<br />
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Sorry, but this medicine is here to stay. Perhaps you can compensate the lost profits with your poppy production??</div>
Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-62798515474155127082011-07-16T10:22:00.000-07:002011-07-16T10:22:31.480-07:00News Flash: Crazy Statistics!! <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEvUEixRpQMBpqZnPLAVFeeY98qc-pqKfG_bSbgkewWqp8qmNBUrpGVUy_Jn2XNAy9soDjrwfxPQBDdq8-ypoZmM5OK_3C158Ylc4I3_hIjlu6b35o8z0V6DMOlReJ3bh0tqXbqjCSYQE/s1600/Statistics+satire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEvUEixRpQMBpqZnPLAVFeeY98qc-pqKfG_bSbgkewWqp8qmNBUrpGVUy_Jn2XNAy9soDjrwfxPQBDdq8-ypoZmM5OK_3C158Ylc4I3_hIjlu6b35o8z0V6DMOlReJ3bh0tqXbqjCSYQE/s320/Statistics+satire.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture from: <a href="http://myhome.iolfree.ie/~lightbulb/Research.html">http://myhome.iolfree.ie/~lightbulb/Research.html</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table> Warped Reality Headquarters, a few years ago, sent out multiply scientists and researchers to uncover and study several statistics regarding important matters of daily life, and their findings were shocking! Blow your mind by reading what our researchers had spent years on uncovering.<br />
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<strong>Statistic 1:</strong> 100% of car accidents involve atleast ONE car.<br />
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<strong>Statistic 2:</strong> People who go to school tend to perform significantly better on exams than those who don't attend school.<br />
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<strong>Statistic 3:</strong> If your parents never had children, 100% of the time, you won't either.<br />
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<strong>Statistic 4: </strong>100% of males are boys, and likewise, 100% of females are girls<br />
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<strong>Statistic 5:</strong> People who don't sleep are very likely to be tired<br />
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<strong>Statistic 6:</strong> People who are blind often cannot see, as such, people who are deaf often cannot hear<br />
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<strong>Statistic 7:</strong> People who drink a glass of water for 36500 days without fail will ALWAYS live to be 100 years old<br />
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<strong>Statistic 8: </strong>Those who have passed away tend to consume less oxygen than those who are still alive<br />
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<strong>Statistic 9:</strong> 100% of people who read <a href="http://reallywarped.blogspot.com/">this blog</a> tend to be more informed, smarter, and all together more cooler than people who don't (get the hint!!)<br />
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<strong>Statistic 10: </strong>People who are 10 years old have also at one point been 9, 8, 7, 6 and so on in their lives<br />
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These are just TEN of the many that our top researchers uncovered! If you know anymore interesting statistics, be sure to leave them in the comments section!Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-68279925079449127682011-07-15T20:53:00.000-07:002011-07-15T20:54:47.274-07:00Harry Potter Midnight Premier Experience Q & A<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx0nwTSnU0G84FrBohPVm1PvbgyayeeWRvHAMcgQwBGobExIKaxiGTfkPPtIumFEn9Rj4L7Usn-OMhDGhNIn4FaNUa9fSwulKNkL29f25XEWqePoQEZJWCg0p4z9k8oQbihYbM3Gwa4go/s1600/Harry+Potter+Midnight+Premier.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx0nwTSnU0G84FrBohPVm1PvbgyayeeWRvHAMcgQwBGobExIKaxiGTfkPPtIumFEn9Rj4L7Usn-OMhDGhNIn4FaNUa9fSwulKNkL29f25XEWqePoQEZJWCg0p4z9k8oQbihYbM3Gwa4go/s320/Harry+Potter+Midnight+Premier.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture by: <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/movies/galleries">http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/movies/galleries</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>As you all may know, the midnight premier for the final Harry Potter movie was shown yesterday, and it had an amazing turnout. But what is it that defines the midnight premier experience? Is it the hoards of people sitting for hours on end in an endless line? Perhaps its the hipsters and strangely dressed people you get to meet? Or maybe its the complete lack of hygiene as a result of endless waiting and no showers?? Warped Reality Headquarters went behind the scenes to ask questions so that YOU may have the ultimate midnight premiere waiting experience!<br />
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<strong>Question 1:</strong> What's your favorite part about a midnight premier of a movie??<br />
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<strong>Answer 1:</strong> That feeling of relief when you get up off the ground from sitting motionless for a couple of days. The rush of blood to my legs, back, and my gluteus maximus.<br />
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<strong>Question 2:</strong> What do you recommend bringing for a midnight premier??<br />
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<strong>Answer 2:</strong> I recommend bringing a blind fold, some rope, something to stand on, duct tape, a weapon of some sort, and a sign that reads "free candy." It's a great way to "meet" new people... hehe. And what's best about it is that no one can hear their screams... of merriment!<br />
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<strong>Question 3:</strong> How early should one camp out before a premier??<br />
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<strong>Answer 3: </strong>Well my family and I found out about the latest Harry Potter movie, we immediately picked up the kids, the grandparents, and the dog, and pitched a tent in front of the theater. So it's been about a year now. Sure, you might think that it's a bit too early, but you gotta be first! People will say that they're only there to see "Transformers 3" or some other movie, but its a lie... a conspiracy! Them blasted kids just want my spot!<br />
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<strong>Question 4: </strong>Does it ever get boring of tedious to wait for so long??<br />
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<strong>Answer 4:</strong> Not really. I've been sitting so long that the blood flow to my brain has slowed down so significantly that I can't actually tell that I'm bored or tired or hungry or thirsty. Besides, there's so many fun things to do! Like count the leaves on the trees, calculate the derivative of a bird's flight path, ascertain the integral of said bird's flight path on a graph, count the pebbles that compose the sidewalk, spitball random people...<br />
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<strong>Question 5:</strong> Where should one choose to camp out in line for a premier??<br />
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<strong>Answer 5: </strong>I don't know man... hey you got some booze??<br />
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Well there you have it! A quick Q and A and you now know how to thoroughly enjoy your waiting in line experience!<br />
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WARNING: Same principles do not apply to all lines. Grocery lines are not encompassed in the scope of advice above. Do not drink (question 5) and do not be a creeper (question 2). Results are not guaranteed. In fact, results are not to be expected under any circumstances. We are not held liable for anyone who may starve, faint, become dehydrated, or even die as a result of adhering to the advice above.<span style="background-color: white;"> Movie experience is not guaranteed. Call now for a free consultation. If you have taken the drug ----, you may have a claim to compensation. some assembly required, results may vary.</span>Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-87630730927225964722011-05-15T10:17:00.000-07:002011-05-15T10:17:59.888-07:00Military Report: Poke Wars<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikFXAFasdcwITehXlG3AdeSsCqnUlwx-AO5Dczibt1k6Ew04dENazFeax8KTtjV_qdDVikhpukyl-iZVORLwOg3yZuDJU5VE5y0b2JVSTQqOJMkfAxcX5CoaRZV3J673lxPJEziZMUq0g/s1600/poke.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikFXAFasdcwITehXlG3AdeSsCqnUlwx-AO5Dczibt1k6Ew04dENazFeax8KTtjV_qdDVikhpukyl-iZVORLwOg3yZuDJU5VE5y0b2JVSTQqOJMkfAxcX5CoaRZV3J673lxPJEziZMUq0g/s320/poke.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.zazzle.com/fear_my_poke_card-137087451987489500">http://www.zazzle.com/fear_my_poke_card-137087451987489500</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Attention public! You are now being attacked by a nonstop barrage of virtual pokes, only to cease firing at the extent of the enemy's patience! Poke wars are some of the deadliest battles a social network addict can be faced with, right next to Mafia Battles and lack of fertilizer for their farmville. Many lives have gone to waste as these people stare at their computer screen for hours at a time, patiently waiting for the next "poke" in hopes of countering with an immediate retaliation of their own. But what makes them so deadly?<br />
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Studies have shown that poke wars have a 100% casualty rate (addicts), and often times, a person can find them self overwhelmed with<span style="background-color: white;"> the non stop barrage of attacks. It becomes very easy to immerse yourself in the war, and many cases of post-dramatic stress have been reported. As one lucky veteran puts it, he found himself "drawn in, as if [he] were being challenged by the opposing team to battle patience and wits." It's very difficult to turn down a poke war, because it is a sign of weakness. Even so, if you decide not to respond to a poke, it still exists. It's there... on your home screen, mocking you with it's cruel indifference... sitting silently, waiting....</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">There isn't much a person can do but respond to the attack, and thus openly accept the battle. At times, you can find yourself battling up to 15 opponents, all of whom who have the intent to destroy you!! So save yourself while you still can, avoid contact with anyone, any human being who exists (In today's society, not having a facebook means you cease to exist) could be a potential enemy, a foe. Avoiding contact with anyone assures that they will forget that your name exists in their endless friend list. Our leading General for Security and Defence has compiled a list of procedures that should be followed in order to assure survival during a poke war.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">- <strong>Unlimited patience</strong> - Poke wars are known to last for many many years</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">- <strong>No activity on facebook</strong> - The less activity on facebook, the less people see you</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">- <strong>Make allies</strong> - If you have 10 people all poking your enemy, you have a greater chance of ending the war</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">- <strong>Fast reflexes</strong> - Quick responses to pokes can quickly tire out an enemy, granting you title of victor</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">- <strong>Nukes</strong> - In case your enemy chooses not to forfeit, you may have to turn to alternative measures...</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">- <strong>Bomb shelter</strong> - If your oponent chooses to use alternative measures on you, you need proper protection</span><br />
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The General assures us that if you follow these steps, you are not only paranoid beyond help, but you are also safe from the inevitable doom from a poke war. Go now young grasshopper... may the poke be with you....<br />
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*poke*<br />
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</div>Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-3541527339760451512011-05-06T21:39:00.001-07:002023-01-24T12:40:33.268-08:00News Flash: AP Exams<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://zerooutoffive.blogspot.com/2009/08/scantron-i-failed.html">http://zerooutoffive.blogspot.com/2009/08/scantron-i-failed.html</a></td></tr>
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In schools all across the country, students are preparing for their Advanced Placement examinations, that will encompass all of the content that they have learned over the course of the year. As one student astutely puts it, "Oh S**t..."<br />
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Students have been working diligently with their teachers and peers to best prepare themselves. As one teacher said "MY STUDENTS AREN'T PREPARED! OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!" At this point the interviewed teacher turned a bright shade of scarlet red and collapsed sputtering random facts likely plucked from previous years AP exams. </div>
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The freshman, most of which aren't taking AP exams this year have had a chance to see the intense frustration brought about by these much anticipated tests. One freshman told us "I'm taking ten AP exams this year in order to prepare my self for the 23 that I'll be taking next year!" Show off... Our confidence was reassured when she added "By the way, I have no life." Unfortunately, the kid was destined to fail regardless of her infinite studying and loserness.<br />
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We then went further to analyze these so called "Tests of Mass Paranoia and Suffering," and we have come to the conclusion that these tests were released unto the United States by terrorist organizations! Terrorists are no longer the disheveled, AK-47 wielding, blood shot eyed men as they were once recognized as. No, they've found a new target, seeing as they cannot defeat the United States military. They are targeting our children! These incredibly difficult tests have had substantial negative effects on the minds of our youth. Rises in blood pressure, blood clots, madness, post-dramatic stress, hallucinations, and obesity have been charted upon the release of these AP tests.<br />
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We questioned one student who had recently taken the AP Spanish test, and he had this to say: "Oh my god, this was THE hardest test I've taken in my life! It's like it was in another language! How am I supposed to know what 'yo tengo un lapiz' is supposed to mean?!" At this moment, the student suffered a panic attack and was dragged off site by his parents who stapled an AP review book to his head. But that's not even the worst! We conducted a follow up interview with another student who had recently finished taking her AP procrastinating exam, and this is what she had to say: "It was the hardest test that I ever took! So I didn't! I waited till the last 5 minutes so that I could get into my 'zone,' and then I managed to finish 3.827 questions. I think I got a 5!"<br /></div>
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The first week of AP exams is over, and the second week starting this Monday. I hope you fail! JK, good luck. But seriously, DON'T FAIL!!!</div>
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Varun Rameshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03048156664263639430noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-55604822113060097452011-04-22T10:32:00.000-07:002011-04-22T10:44:11.397-07:00P.E.T.A. complains against "Angry Birds" for animal cruelty!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJSdma19Ljg6NrculLGVjBRiBxN4zTJWzH4Qit3Mvy-w_9OYVlOHymCQ27THbrJg7fMz1jNw1Tjct05Qw222NSum0vvAMHMtUTxKjl82RZulVa9L3X65Zs7YUyJvPM6HA-Z7-ulwYc4c0/s1600/Angry+Birds.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="208" i8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJSdma19Ljg6NrculLGVjBRiBxN4zTJWzH4Qit3Mvy-w_9OYVlOHymCQ27THbrJg7fMz1jNw1Tjct05Qw222NSum0vvAMHMtUTxKjl82RZulVa9L3X65Zs7YUyJvPM6HA-Z7-ulwYc4c0/s400/Angry+Birds.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://android.gamersrecon.com/2011/02/21/highly-acclaimed-free-classic-single-player-smash-hit-angry-birds/">http://android.gamersrecon.com/2011/02/21/highly-acclaimed-free-classic-single-player-smash-hit-angry-birds/</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table> The quite popular application on the Android App Market and Apple's App Store has taken the world by storm. That is, a storm of chaotic, lethal, killer birds! Don't be fooled by their vibrant colors, their cartoonish appearance, their seemingly small, feeble, round bodies! Underneath those brightly colored feathers lies a powerful killing machine; one that has been the midievel castle's worst nightmare, the carpenters mortal enemy, the eskimo's downfall. Yet even with all of this known threat posed by these avian BMD (Birds of Mass Destruction), P.E.T.A. has still seen the game release as an attack against animal rights.<br />
<br />
Representatives from Warped Reality Headquarters sent representatives to speak with P.E.T.A. regarding their concerns for the hit game. Meeting with the people in charge, our representatives were able to conduct an interview and gather information which could possible open up an entirely new view on the destructive game. <br />
<br />
We asked: So what exactly is P.E.T.A. complaining against? And we received a prompt responce of: "We feel as if animals are being exploited for the amusement of others. Birds are catapulted into solid stone boulders, wood planks, ice blocks, explosives, and worst of all, OTHER animals! What about the fat pigs? What made them green? Where they fed some harmful chemicals to turn their skin this shade? And why are they being shot at? You could see at the end of every 'course' that there were bruises and bleeding on the pigs, what about that?! Oh, and one more thing. WHY IS THE BLACK BIRD EXPLODING?!"<br />
<br />
At this point, the representative suffered a heart attack from a spike in his blood pressure.<br />
<br />
We then talked to the creators of Angry Birds, and recieved this as a responce to all of the questions asked by P.E.T.A.<br />
<br />
Q: What made pigs green?<br />
A: Well, where do you think Green eggs and HAM comes from? GREEN PIGS!<br />
<br />
Q: Why are the pigs being shot at?<br />
A: The pigs are wanted criminals in 54 states, 32 countries, 8 continents, 12 galaxies, 13 dimensions, and Cuba. I think we can all agree that Angry Birds is our way of bringing justice.<br />
<br />
Q: Why does the black bird explode?<br />
A: It has a rare eating disorder (which explains its unnaturally round shape) which causes it to explode due to overindulging<br />
<br />
Q: Why is the yellow bird shaped like a triangle?<br />
A: It was born with a rare bone condition which causes it to morph into the figure of a triangle<br />
<br />
Q: Is the fat white bird a male or female?<br />
A: It lays eggs, so its obviously a genetically engineered super chicken male<br />
<br />
P.E.T.A. continues their efforts to stop the marketing of this "crime against animal kind," while my partner and I continue to try and beat level 3 in stage 2 of Angry Birds Seasons.</div>Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-62761448189452342002011-04-03T12:10:00.000-07:002011-04-06T17:42:53.294-07:00Google Motion Hits the Streets!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div> <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBtsnPhqau8Fzp8xywvQn1R7o4ktIejW7pKM0_I-r3VxL9oiIPhjyVtDf_Lv48My0-347Gb1lolmRmW4Vwy2rAVUwJIfz8RRLRvKe9Sfxhv_Ya_v7SZM-zevO3xN3gVF_yHO6PA7N41OE/s1600/Google+Motion+Chart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; height: 328px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 646px;"><img border="0" height="499" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBtsnPhqau8Fzp8xywvQn1R7o4ktIejW7pKM0_I-r3VxL9oiIPhjyVtDf_Lv48My0-347Gb1lolmRmW4Vwy2rAVUwJIfz8RRLRvKe9Sfxhv_Ya_v7SZM-zevO3xN3gVF_yHO6PA7N41OE/s640/Google+Motion+Chart.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://jotaperealini.blogspot.com/">http://jotaperealini.blogspot.com/</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table> The absolutely revolutionary and amazing new product to hit the markets will change the way we send emails. Coined as "Google Motion," by the Google developers, this new product ensures a completely different medium by which a person may, compose, format, and send/reply an email. Dance! That's exactly right! Those mad dance skills that you've been locking up to the bowels of your parent's basement can finally be utilized and shown to their truest potential. View this video for more information <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bu927_ul_X0&feature=topvideos">Google Motion</a>.<br />
<br />
My partner and I have had the honor of trying out this product for ourselves, which I remind you, is absolutely free! After a brief trial, we were sold on it. We could dance to all kinds of songs, like <span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;">(song), (song), and (song) </span></span><span style="font-size: small;">and have Google Motion spit out a perfectly crafted message! For example, after my partner jammed out "Centerfold," by J. Geils Band, he was able to compose the accurate and grammatically correct message of:</span><br />
<br />
Deer Señorita Bill,<br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> My cat is had a very badly ear infection in shis tonsils, and wanteds very right immediately daycare in a hospitals. The helping out for fixing for the blood clot can be only grown in Barbados, no in Lesser Antilles?$A% Is possible dat the kitty gets bandage for shis tonsils so du ear infection not doe sprade more out? The feline painful is in but don't talk. Thinking ahead, I maileded to you, you helpeds me bfor wit mah doggy wit shis tonsils infection out of his tumoch. </div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Sincerely,</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Bob Harland</div><br />
What a masterpiece right? After our review of this new product, we found that within the immense genius and creativity of Google Motion, lies a couple of minute and negligible flaws that do not affect the overall quality of the otherwise revolutionary medium. <br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm0OJbnzvpVCRNtAgRY1dUdU5d-WBOsVm_vQvkt3QCwCjgk8AaYV5mfcSTwxX-2o_VHXFfdMCOPEEfu_JE6cUBRfS5WAASHQEU3GkWmXAAQNPPJOvil86HtkbsNWpZr6hBPykQ3q333YU/s1600/schematics+for+Google+Motion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm0OJbnzvpVCRNtAgRY1dUdU5d-WBOsVm_vQvkt3QCwCjgk8AaYV5mfcSTwxX-2o_VHXFfdMCOPEEfu_JE6cUBRfS5WAASHQEU3GkWmXAAQNPPJOvil86HtkbsNWpZr6hBPykQ3q333YU/s320/schematics+for+Google+Motion.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://mail.google.com/mail/help/motion.html">http://mail.google.com/mail/help/motion.html</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table> Some of these flaws include the fact that messages can only be signed off as user "Bob Harland." However, Bob Harland, must be a very common name or else Google would never have used it. In addition, another minute flaw is that Google Motion is known to convert - at random points - the text into a foreign language. However, SOMEONE must speak the language, so the recipient of the email can always hire a translator if need be. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Another flaw we uncovered was that Google Motion is so powerful, that it also tracks the motion of objects BEHIND the intended user. As I was preparing to write a long and lengthy love poem to my online girlfriend on Maple Story (Not really, I don't have a girlfriend), Google Motion was also able to track the motion of my 26 cats in the background. The poem came out as follows:</div><br />
Roses are fat<br />
Violets are fake<br />
I think it's time for you<br />
to lay off the cheesecake<br />
<br />
And as beautiful and heartfelt as this poem was, it could not satisfy my girlfriend. She dumped me *sniff* one week before we were to be married.<br />
<br />
But regardless, I could go on and on and on forever about the countless minute flaws of Google Motion, but I don't think that's what you want to read. So take this time, and visit the website (<a href="http://gmail.com/motion">Download Here</a>) and test out this amazing product for yourself!!<br />
<br />
Rating: 4.5 / 5<br />
<br />
WARNING: Warped Reality is not held liable for any injuries that you may sustain. Google Motion is not a medium for working out, nor should it be used as such without proper attention. Steer clear of other objects, as some of the motions required can be very wild, and could pose a danger to humans of animals within proximity. Wii fit moves do not correspond with Google Motion commands.</div>Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-89707820671843721182011-02-24T18:06:00.000-08:002011-02-24T18:06:28.992-08:00Model UN is the REAL UN!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo9tkCJuxBcZFJMLDE4l7rxBViek_1FOmY-NVfDheSmxaiStvPWeP_hDONWLrrs-ijS3AFlVS2z_B25HkqAqPUQ7wALmbJLKy1XGvCHT4-NsZS85ABjfesJ9eqtsdhziLH2mw-yrq-G9Q/s1600/modelUN.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo9tkCJuxBcZFJMLDE4l7rxBViek_1FOmY-NVfDheSmxaiStvPWeP_hDONWLrrs-ijS3AFlVS2z_B25HkqAqPUQ7wALmbJLKy1XGvCHT4-NsZS85ABjfesJ9eqtsdhziLH2mw-yrq-G9Q/s320/modelUN.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> Picture by: <a href="http://www.mtsn.org.uk/Model-United-Nations.aspx">http://www.mtsn.org.uk/Model-United-Nations.aspx</a><br />
<br />
A popular club in junior high schools and high schools is Model UN. In this club, students are assigned to a nation over which they are a representative in one of several committees including UNHCR, UN Habitat, and the General Assembly. Students are assigned a couple months prior to competitions to research their nation, recognize that nation's stance on issues, develop and understanding of that nation's past, and then prepare policy papers and speeches regarding that topic. At the end of the long period of time for preparation, there is a two day competition in which schools send their representatives and a "mock" UN is hosted. Sounds like a great club right? WRONG!!<br />
<br />
Our spies at Warped Reality had their suspicions from the beginning, and were sent in to investigate this seemingly harmless competition. The findings were shocking. This competition wasn't simply a "mock" UN, it was THE UN! These kids, unknowingly, were asked to research their nation and develop policy statements on their behalf. And whatever resolutions that were passed in the competition were actually being passed in the real world! Our UN is being run by high school students!<br />
<br />
Further news will be brought concerning this topic as soon as more findings are released and assessed. </div>Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-90304543897975640612010-12-09T15:53:00.001-08:002023-01-24T13:17:21.666-08:00Official Rejection: Cool People Discussing Video Games in Physics Class Podcast<div style="text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cool-People-Discussing-Video-Games-in-Physics-Class/133023443421586" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeh66WvX4o-rGhvoainNqVx4pXKRvSdq87k0PlrEnsZAJfpMlS6FPz4fI9PHUDc4k7Fq-jbuDoLgaE2IBeV5VS68j4y2fSYrRO3DVH6nof8ojNKWYBRDdk8c1TdVkiKh3U1_gZnF7zf6s/s288/PC020528.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cool-People-Discussing-Video-Games-in-Physics-Class/133023443421586">They obviously have no graphic design skills</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table></div><div>The internet is full of useless stupid people discussing subjects that nobody actually cares about. Each day, more losers add their podcasts and blogs to this huge junk pile of crap, thereby making more and more lives miserable. A new podcast, entitled Cool People Discussing Video Games in Physics Class, does absolutely nothing to prevent this coming apocalypse. Instead it furthers it, by adding the opinions of 4 losers to this mess of videos, Facebook posts, and images of kittens known as the Internet. In it, 4 random dudes ramble on about boring stuff like video games, and random stupid technology crap. Yeah, I know, it's lame. For this abject failure at life, we present the Cool People Discussing Video Games in Physics Class podcast with an Official Rejection. This indicates that it is not worth your time, so don't even bother following them on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cool-People-Discussing-Video-Games-in-Physics-Class/133023443421586">Facebook</a>, or checking out <a href="http://blip.tv/file/4461098">Episode 2</a> or <a href="http://blip.tv/file/4460369">Episode 1</a>. Trust me. It's really that bad.</div>Varun Rameshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03048156664263639430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-48690659895460606902010-11-01T21:47:00.000-07:002019-02-09T07:51:45.348-08:00News Flash: Midterm Elections!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi00KbsF5tZ6IX1vC-jzQGU7Q2Vzy-CJwKRoxtdURKUqLfplBMSaIwkm9QIV66p0Ru8CSQNee_8_TzhgCTcsH1-z_D9TVYt4_xlvB-aNUwIkENWeoGkG4kjpUm6o7wQP44opuHmCdVBv8Ou/s320/Voting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi00KbsF5tZ6IX1vC-jzQGU7Q2Vzy-CJwKRoxtdURKUqLfplBMSaIwkm9QIV66p0Ru8CSQNee_8_TzhgCTcsH1-z_D9TVYt4_xlvB-aNUwIkENWeoGkG4kjpUm6o7wQP44opuHmCdVBv8Ou/s320/Voting.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture From: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><a href="http://politics-and-world-5678.blogspot.com/2010/09/midterm-elections-2010-latest-updates.html">http://politics-and-world-5678.blogspot.com/2010/09/midterm-elections-2010-latest-updates.html</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
With the U.S. Midterm Elections approaching in 2 days, tensions all around the country are heating. Based off polls and trends in congress, analysts predict heavy losses for the Democrats. I a quote by Obama, "There is no doubt that this is a difficult election."<br />
<br />
Or, in a language that most people can understand, "We're screwed." Joe Biden, in preparation for the race, was seen hitting his campaign managers with McCain posters. "When you get knocked down, there's only one thing to do. Get up. Get up and vote." Public awareness over the election is also gaining traction, as more people to consider who they will select as there candidate. "Is that for the Superbowl?", said one citizen. The elections even prompted a rally by pundits John Stewart and Stephen Colbert, asking all Mormon Jay-Z fans to get in their cars and drive through a narrow strip of road. "I think this is metaphor something," commented one spectator, "But I'm really not sure what... Maybe it has to do with standing in line for Superbowl tickets?"<br />
<br />
But above all, one message has solidified from the chaos of the midterms. Vote. For, if you vote, you will be further contributing to the giant power-ball lottery known as democratic elections.</div>
Varun Rameshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03048156664263639430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-53038701476156119002010-10-31T21:31:00.000-07:002010-10-31T21:32:56.104-07:00News Flash: Halloween!<div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://keetsa.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/pumpkin-carving-halloween.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="http://keetsa.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/pumpkin-carving-halloween.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture From: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><a href="http://keetsa.com/blog/eco-friendly/11-tips-to-make-your-halloween-eco-friendly/">http://keetsa.com/blog/eco-friendly/11-tips-to-make-your-halloween-eco-friendly/</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>The upcoming holiday of Halloween, originating in Ireland, is one of many that have been adopted into American culture. On this night, ghosts and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ghouls</span>, vampires and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">werewolves</span>, and the scariest of all, Hannah Montana, gather to engage in the popular activity of the theft and consumption of high glucose solids wrapped in colorful paper used as a mask to cover the true artery clogging, fat building, teeth rotting yumminess inside. More popularly called, Trick-or-Treating.</div><br />
<div>Along with the a raise in heart attacks, Halloween also marks a rise in pumpkin sales. Millions of Americans have bought pumpkins in order to hollow them out, deface them, and let them rot. "I'm really excited to see how fast the mold spreads," one kid told us. No matter where you are, you can look forward to a wide assortment of lame carved pumpkins that you feel a sudden urge to kick over and chop into pieces with an Axe.<br />
<br />
But above, don't forget to waste time, scare little kids, and get obscenely fat. Happy Halloween!</div>Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-30851519397726480502010-10-31T21:12:00.000-07:002010-10-31T21:12:15.028-07:00Oil Spill In The Gulf Is A Government Conspiracy! Must Read!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhLAYvAxPmXqF-goG6qovHVO9XnxDQH-at3S9lJnJO-VyXM7zZCdUDxTbU4IWXL9j3bAscAm0z12_OpK6mj9VgKRmAPisKOx9z18F328BHkdFl_KARt_iEVV4nTvSJkDc7CvB-HaduW4s/s1600/Sea+cow.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527196488602978098" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhLAYvAxPmXqF-goG6qovHVO9XnxDQH-at3S9lJnJO-VyXM7zZCdUDxTbU4IWXL9j3bAscAm0z12_OpK6mj9VgKRmAPisKOx9z18F328BHkdFl_KARt_iEVV4nTvSJkDc7CvB-HaduW4s/s320/Sea+cow.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 225px;" /></a> Picture from: http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/hobbs-hob/<br />
<div></div><br />
<div>As you may have heard on the news, at school, at work, at home, at your mom's house, at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">your</span> dad's house, in the cardboard box you live in, the Gulf coast oil spill has been expanding at a rapid rate and threatens the lives of many marine wildlife. This catastrophic disaster has been stirring alarm all across the United States. So pack yo kids, pack yo wife, and pack yo husband 'cause they callin' everybody out here! Wrong!<br />
<br />
Our top reporter went on the scene and interviewed some marine wildlife about their experiences with the oil spill. Mr. fat old sea cow, had this to say, "......." From this response, it is clear that the wildlife have not been affected at all by this so called "world catastrophe," as the government is leading us all the believe.<br />
<br />
This government conspiracy suggests that something is being hidden from the public. Common questions being asked regarding it include: "Is there really an oil spill?" "If there is, can we blame exxon just because?" "Were the images photoshopped?" "Can I meet Mr. fat old sea cow?" "What time is it?" and lastly "Why are you wasting my time asking me quesions?"<br />
<br />
A further analysis will be conducted in order to confirm that the government is messing with our minds.</div>Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-45470885625995726742010-09-27T22:21:00.000-07:002010-09-27T22:21:01.562-07:00News Flash: Homecoming - A Gathering of Alien Elites<div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid7xYZ-FPTUKh5dp3V_DdmQUqpsPmfHv8Z5VmCXAa5vasb3DTu8PyZtLJdXI7yQK_oAE_-N3x5il_P44GjP8ODTJmYbaztTHdfmqURZVOUO-cyuwhI-q-0N2pklY1CoVZZ6SLWeLjxjvYN/s1600/covenant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid7xYZ-FPTUKh5dp3V_DdmQUqpsPmfHv8Z5VmCXAa5vasb3DTu8PyZtLJdXI7yQK_oAE_-N3x5il_P44GjP8ODTJmYbaztTHdfmqURZVOUO-cyuwhI-q-0N2pklY1CoVZZ6SLWeLjxjvYN/s1600/covenant.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alien Royalty Converse at Homecoming</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Homecoming, as most believe it to be, is a harmless get together where people have the opportunity to dance and socialize for $15. But further investigation brings into consideration a startlingly different view that has the potential to shatter how we view school events. Homecoming is actually a secretly orchestrated gathering of alien elites, bent on destroying the society of planet Earth. Yes it's true! Where do you think all the drugs come from?</div><div></div><br />
<div>Spies from Warped Reality Headquarters were sent to investigate this popular gathering, and have revealed that it is, in fact, a large, well thought out and planned meeting of representatives from different extraterrestraial coalitions. The gathering is actually one of a multi-species alien army. Not only is the army highly advanced technology-wise, but it also demonstrates highly specialized unit classes. JOCK - whose members are trained in long distance shooting, undoubtedly useful as snipers. DRAMA FREAK - trained to impersonate and blend in with the crowd. NERD - trained to manage the army communications and hack into government databases..</div><div></div><br />
<div>Homecoming royalty is undoubtedly a clever disguise for the alien coalition leaders to blend in with the crowd of standard students. These elite few are selected by a inter galactic democratic election, with a cover up election being held within the school with obviously fabricated results.<br />
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In an undercover interview with an elite, "Homecoming is a great way to celebrate our superiority over the human race and look forward to the planned takeover."</div>Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-66654233930871092522010-09-26T22:30:00.000-07:002010-09-26T22:30:38.721-07:00News Flash: HHS Vs. FHS Football Game<div align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn0ULZCcm_On_7bspnZQgBC0iqPA7pWRvBunKTKp8r-OYsSeunQukAWgqmHpGxLMbArB7lc0nz0vFw0p3tsfOE21nsP8svQjWK2pRhKsVQ1Jp3VBxd6yIuCxGQW6cdzCpYN_7IoJiy5jM/s1600/HHS+VS+FHS+football.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521414712520902898" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn0ULZCcm_On_7bspnZQgBC0iqPA7pWRvBunKTKp8r-OYsSeunQukAWgqmHpGxLMbArB7lc0nz0vFw0p3tsfOE21nsP8svQjWK2pRhKsVQ1Jp3VBxd6yIuCxGQW6cdzCpYN_7IoJiy5jM/s320/HHS+VS+FHS+football.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 246px;" /></a> This picture was taken of FHS's quarterback (middle with black socks)<br />
<div align="left">Picture from: <a href="http://taylormadetirade.wordpress.com/2008/08/31/young-offensive-line-will-determine-colts%E2%80%99-fate/">http://taylormadetirade.wordpress.com/2008/08/31/young-offensive-line-will-determine-colts%E2%80%99-fate/</a> </div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"><br />
In an epic football game this past Friday on September 15, 2010, Hamilton High School affirmed their dominance over Fail High School. In a landslide victory, Hamilton football team took the win, and left the FHS ball-throwing cheerleaders standing in a puddle of their own tears. The linebackers towered over their pathetic opponents, causing them to squeal for their parents. The coaches attempted to comfort the losing team while the Hamilton players basked in their glory. "It isn't fair," the opposing quarterback whined, "Hamilton is just too amazing!". The final score was ∞ - 0.</div><br />
An interview with Hamilton's quarterback showed that he had this to say about the game, "It was almost too easy, in fact, I think I saw one of the linebackers wet himself when he saw our water boy."<br />
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The game went for a clean victory, however, it was a very tiring experience.<br />
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The running back says, "Our team was exhausted from constant touchdowns that we had to substitute in our bench warmers to take our places. Its hard work running 100 meters every time when there's no hopes of getting tackled and getting to rest and lie on the ground for a while."<br />
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Congratulations Hamilton High football team, and better luck Fail High School!</div>Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-40004131360697275392010-09-13T19:55:00.000-07:002010-09-16T22:23:18.089-07:00Rafael Nadal Wins Arm Flailing And Grunting Competition!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOVi304tFUEBXxX-T01nGaM3rDISKWQpt_8cimlFlucBQFlxE8xADPpXc795vS2apg-dYwqinxo8cJp_9LT5RfY9gwgx0Up2Ca0g4AbSSuQxNMZIN26xUh-8a99GggCLOSG4cZqnqXGxA/s1600/Nadal+vs+Djokovic.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5516619786911587330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOVi304tFUEBXxX-T01nGaM3rDISKWQpt_8cimlFlucBQFlxE8xADPpXc795vS2apg-dYwqinxo8cJp_9LT5RfY9gwgx0Up2Ca0g4AbSSuQxNMZIN26xUh-8a99GggCLOSG4cZqnqXGxA/s320/Nadal+vs+Djokovic.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 210px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 250px;" /></a> Picture from: http://www.tennischannel.com/news/NewsDetails.aspx?newsid=6956<br />
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<div>Let it be known that on September 13, 2010, Rafael Nadal is now the world champion arm flailer and grunter! A title awarded only to the most deserving arm flailer and grunter, this year, Nadal takes it home as the world's greatest!<br />
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It was an intense showdown, Russian cursewords under his breath, Djokovic put up a very fierce show, but at the end, there can be only one... only one will go home with the glory... only one can have the worlds scratchiest throat... only one can have the worlds limpest arms... one... to rule them all!!<br />
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Tensions were high and the pressure kept rising as the competition was postponed for a second time due to raining on the scene. Once play resumed, the players came back as aggressive as ever, arms pumped up for wild and uncontrollable swinging, throats parched so as to provide maximum gruntiness (yes gruntiness is a word).</div><div></div><br />
<div>Congradulations to a game well played Nadal and Djokovic, great skills and efforts, the world looks forward to seeing the same intensity and passion in next years game!</div>Atharva Dholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12039540457985474488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-83446582112315127882010-09-13T17:47:00.000-07:002010-09-13T18:07:21.908-07:00Halo: Teach - A New Educational System For Young Spartans<table style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN-LEFT: auto; MARGIN-RIGHT: auto" class="tr-caption-container" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tbody><tr><td style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><a style="MARGIN-LEFT: auto; MARGIN-RIGHT: auto" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCOJECb4r3aEhak_REgKj0kFRJf1CtlAUcFsBuBcxhwzq8OFato7ctdpYz_1k7lFvPjOribdIopHKjE7WSkK0lPHx9EUczVAZ0Z10xmcbdyctOjMXM_xlOLrZzhFQaOVevsWcoZ8ev4exW/s1600/haloteach.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCOJECb4r3aEhak_REgKj0kFRJf1CtlAUcFsBuBcxhwzq8OFato7ctdpYz_1k7lFvPjOribdIopHKjE7WSkK0lPHx9EUczVAZ0Z10xmcbdyctOjMXM_xlOLrZzhFQaOVevsWcoZ8ev4exW/s320/haloteach.png" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" class="tr-caption">Mr. Chief Educates Preschool Level Spartans On Basic Rifle Handling</td></tr></tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span>Last Thursday, the Federal Education Bureau released a report containing a compilation of shocking studies performed across the nation. Numerous studies have cited that the literacy rate for Spartans is shockingly low, at about 13% being able to read text aside from military commands or other army related text, and an even smaller 8% having the ability to write. Due to this controversial issue concerning the education of our young Spartans, the government has put in place a motion for numerous schools to open up this following year. As of Sunday, a pilot program involving the conversion of the military bases in Blood Gulch into a preschool has been initiated. If this is successful, it will be extended to encompass numerous school districts across the entire country.<br /><br />Mr. Chief, the only school teacher in employment, was interviewed by a field operative. Mr. Chief was clear in voicing his discontent for the current education standards. "I find their lack of education to be disturbing. Someone with some experience needs to gravity-hammer some some stuff into those thick Spartan helmets of theirs. Someone needs to teach these grunts how to fire a rocket launcher, someone needs to teach them how to aim a Spartan <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">laser</span>, someone needs to teach them how to hijack and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">commandeer</span> a Banshee and fire a fuel rod." At this point, a "routine" Covenant bombardment on the base hit our reporter, tearing apart his flesh and flinging his internal organs across the scene. A salvaging party was sent to search through his blood and guts to recover the interview tape. The school recycled the remnants of the reporter into the Spartan lunches.<br /><br />The school system is separated into three major parts and a fourth for those eager and motivated Spartans wishing to pursue higher education. The first part is a encompasses Preschool through Kindergarten schooling in which Spartans in training may learn basic fundamentals of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">handling</span> rifles, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">disassembling</span> Covenant weaponry, interpreting the tracks of different Covenant creatures, and how to write in cursive.<br /><br />The second part of schooling consists of grade school, from 1st grade to 8<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">th</span></span></span></span> grade. During this period of time, Spartans have a wide selection of electives to chose from. Several of these include foreign languages, such as Covenant, or Culinary Arts, in which students learn how to prepare meals from the blood of hunters. Sports leagues are available also, with activities such as energy sword jousting and oddball. Excelling in activities such as speed assembling of fuel rods can earn students a place on the Honor Roll list.<br /><br />The <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">third</span> portion of schooling is for grades 9 through 12. During this period of education, 9<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">th</span></span></span></span> graders will be referred to as <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">freshmeat</span></span></span></span>. The <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">freshmeat</span></span></span></span> will enter into this section of education and will be able to take part in classes such as human and alien history and home <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">ec</span></span></span></span>. Students will be able to join the school oddball team and attend school events such as school dances and games. A complimentary driving course will be offered for students of age 16 to learn how to pilot a banshee, mongoose, scorpion, and warthog.<br /><br />The school system will provide transportation for students who live in other planets by mean of Pelicans. Each Pelican is outfitted with state-of-the-art first-aid kits, video screens, bullet proof armour (in case of Covenant attack), leather upholstery, and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">cup holders</span>. Seat belts are not provided because students need to learn how to respond quickly in demanding situations. Seat belts have been proven to substantially lower reaction time and energy, and in order to remedy this problem, have been removed. Sending you're young Spartan to school is a liability risk and you will be asked politely by military force to sign a waiver on your child's behalf.<br /><br />On behalf of the No Spartan Left Behind Except The Dumb Ones foundation, we hope this will be an enjoyable year for your young Spartan. We hope he proves to be a valuable asset and will not be a waste of our time and energy and space. Because if he is a waste of our time, then he will be ejected into the deep bowels of the ever expanding space where all he has too look forward to is the vacuum of space <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">slowly</span></span> squeezing his eyes and juices out of his body as he expands and then explodes, leaving behind a plethora of body parts and space <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">debris</span></span> that will most likely be salvaged by space scavengers to give to their children as afternoon snacks. Good Luck!Varun Rameshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03048156664263639430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4373627558575581302.post-69614595058648692772010-09-12T16:08:00.000-07:002010-09-13T17:52:42.784-07:00Google Unveils New Mind Based Search<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB2TMNCvFKtT0jTpmEHvZ8HIsgukkf_BCNWoqGS0iwFNg65DuiqV8_P1hX96OXgD1pjKXTawff-HrcKXLigzks_x1AtiSq_Pqdbg0qOZEyR3owvMDd03YJN97-VVvD7K88oFFuFnPiz0F9/s1600/download.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB2TMNCvFKtT0jTpmEHvZ8HIsgukkf_BCNWoqGS0iwFNg65DuiqV8_P1hX96OXgD1pjKXTawff-HrcKXLigzks_x1AtiSq_Pqdbg0qOZEyR3owvMDd03YJN97-VVvD7K88oFFuFnPiz0F9/s320/download.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Using Google MindSearch, searches can be performed by thought</td></tr>
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This Wednesday, Google unveiled MindSearch, an extension to the standard Google search that allows users to search phrases simply by thinking it. This comes in conjunction with the much mire hyped addition of Google Instant Search, a service which displays results as users type.<br />
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Google Officials told us Thursday, that this venture was launched in an attempt to curb the time required to search for a phrase.<br />
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"The average search takes about 2 seconds." an analyst told us, "That's simply far too long. We could be spending that two seconds being the productive good citizens that most of us are. With Google MindSearch, we can drop that time to a record 0.01 seconds!"<br />
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Google MindSearch is based off a new Google API, dubbed Predict, which uses information about the user found on the web, and creates a perfect mathematical model of their brain and thoughts. MindSearch then uses this data to determine the current thoughts of the user with 100% accuracy.<br />
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Within the next month, Google plans to release ForeSearch, a browser extension that allows people to initiate a Google search before they visit the site.Varun Rameshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03048156664263639430noreply@blogger.com0